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D.I.V.E. (deep, innovative, vertical expression)

2/28/2015

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Amarillo in July. There is nothing amateurish about the heat in Texas,  so no one complains when thunder clouds roll in, bringing a brief torrent of rain!  Both blistering sidewalks and travel-weary souls are soothed. 
Welcomed by a warm and generous hostess, my doubts about coming began to evaporate like the rain on the sidewalks.  Rita Springer had been right.  I needed this time, this oasis in a desert of uncertainty and exhaustion.  A week of immersion in worship and songwriting would do me good...even if I was the oldest of seventeen women attending.  I felt a little sorry for my beautiful, young roommate.  Old enough to be her mother,  I would soon discover that the Lord had arranged for this!  Deb's mother had been unwell since she was a young girl...so a week with a 'mom' was an unexpected gift.
Saturday morning, our first full day at D.I.V.E. began with an extended time of worship.   I was ambushed by a stubborn lump in my throat and the inability to sing a note.  
Surrounded by heartfelt singing: "Oh how He loves us..."  I found myself FUMING! Try as I might, I COULD NOT SING THOSE WORDS!!!  I shrank into a puddle on the floor and silently cried out to the Lord:

"I thought You loved me!  What kind of God would ask me to leave my home and my family...everything I have ever known...and move halfway across the world???  I am numb with fear and mistrust!  I feel alone and abandoned...dull and EMPTY!"  I sobbed , shattered.  Too broken to be embarrassed.  There it was.  I'd said it.  I half expected to be struck dead for my insolence...
Instead, the Lord waited patiently for the emptying of my storehouse of tears...then, very gently and quietly He spoke to my heart:  "This IS my expression of LOVE for you!"
I knew then, that this ALL-KNOWING, ALL SEEING, ALL WISE GOD had a plan for my life that I could not foresee or imagine.  I would have to choose trust.  He had proven His love for me in countless ways.  To doubt, in light of the CROSS, was an insult to His goodness...
He would NOT challenge me to such extreme obedience UNLESS THERE WAS A GOOD REASON!

Rita's words that morning pierced my soul with their truth: 
                                           "There is slaughter involved in worship!"
"And when He had called the people unto Him with His disciples also, He said unto them, 'Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself,
and take up his cross, and follow Me."
(Mark 8:34)
Although I could not see my way ahead, the Lord shone His light on the horizon...I knew He had gone before us.  Later that week, taking a creative break from the musical aspect of D.I.V.E., Rita gathered materials and challenged us to personalize journals she provided.  I randomly grabbed a couple of magazines, and began cutting and pasting.  The end result took my breath away:
Picture
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Date Night

2/25/2015

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I fully intended to pick up those index cards and attempt to 'make plain the vision'...but soon I was carried away with the details of daily living.  I had registered for a Worship/Songwriting retreat in Amarillo, Texas the third week in July, but life just seemed too overwhelming to insert ONE MORE THING!  I called Rita Springer, the organizer and host of the retreat:

    
"Rita, there is just so much going on in our lives right now.  I just don't think I can manage one more thing!  I can't come.  I am so sorry!"
     "What's your phone number???" she demanded.

A few minutes later the phone rang...
    
"I don't know you that well, Anne, but it seems as if you have poured out and poured out.  It's time for you to receive..." She urged me to reconsider.

I promised her I would talk with Henry and get back to her.  I called him, sharing what Rita had said and we both agreed I should go.

Less than an hour later the phone rang again.  It was Henry.  He was in the car, on the way back from Restaurant Depot...the weekly shopping ritual for the Oasis.

"I just had the most incredible time with the Lord.  I want to take you out to dinner tonight and share it with you."

In twenty-three years of marriage he had NEVER called to tell me of a particular prayer time.  I could not imagine what could be SO important that he wouldn't discuss it over the phone!
                                                                        ******

Later that evening, notes in hand, he began to share.  Early that morning he had read
2 Peter Chapter 1:

"...We did not follow cleverly invented stories...but we were eyewitnesses to His majesty...and we have the Word of the prophets made more certain,  AND YOU WILL DO WELL TO PAY ATTENTION TO IT, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the Morning Star rises in your hearts..."

Having read, he prayed,
            "Lord, if you have a word of prophecy for me today, DON'T LET ME MISS IT!"
He explained to me that Rita's words had jarred him: 
                          
"You have poured out and poured out.  It's time to receive."
He knew immediately this was the word of prophecy God had for us. 
His mind raced and he began to pray:

"How can we receive in a country where we don't even speak the language (Chile)???"
"Where have you recently been fed?"  the Lord impressed the question.  "Didn't I start by moving your heart toward Scotland?"
"But that's in the European Union!"  Henry argued.
"Have I not taken care of you and provided for you? 
Never once have I left you or forsaken you."  The Lord continued...
"You cannot get assurance or safety aside from me or my will."
"I created you to be a LEADER!  Now, lead decisively! 
Stay focused. Come out of her. 
NO MORE DIVERSIONS!"
It all seemed so clear in his mind.  I could tell by Henry's countenance that His encounter with the Lord earlier that day had left him resolute.  Somewhere deep down I knew this was right, yet I was disturbed that the Lord had not been speaking to ME about this...
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Strawberry Jam

2/23/2015

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Ok, I've had my rant.  Cannot promise it will be the last.
Last time we chatted I spoke of 'broken cisterns', leaning on our own understanding, trusting in human wisdom...rather than the Lord and His Word.  I am sorry to admit that we had become uncomfortable and impatient.  In our well-intentioned efforts to soothe the agony of uncertainty in our lives, we had spun the wheel and landed on 'Chile'.  We thank God now for His firm, yet gentle redirection... 
There was no doubt storm clouds were continuing to gather.  Dinner with a friend (who was enlisted in the army) included conversation which confirmed reports we had heard.  The army was (and is) actively recruiting people to train for work in 'resettlement and internment camps'.  Of course, the ten-billion dollar question is, 'WHY' ??? Other 'chance' conversations informed us that FEMA had not only been stockpiling unimaginable amounts of hollow point ammunition (outlawed in international warfare because of the carnage it causes), but had been shipping stockpiles of storable foods to its employees all over the country.
In light of all the 'bad news', as my kids called it, it was a continual challenge to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, and NOT on the circumstances.  Still, we knew the Lord had allowed us access to information that would have been foolish to ignore.
I knew all too well the tragic decline of our nation...I could see the handwriting on the wall.  Something continued to weigh quite heavily on my heart, though.  Henry had been the one to initiate the conversation about 'coming out' of the country.  He was the one reading the Scriptures and hearing the Lord in this.  Normally I was the one with the tendency toward things 'prophetic'...WHY was the Lord speaking to Henry, and not to me???  In the unity of marriage, it did not seem right that God would be saying something so profoundly life-changing to him...and not to me!
June 25, 2013 was a pivotal day in several respects.  My devotion that morning included the following admonition:

"Never dread any consequence resulting from absolute obedience to His command.  Dare to trust Him!  Dare to follow Him!  Then discover that the forces that blocked your progress and threatened your life become, at His command, the very materials He uses to build your street of freedom." (Streams in the Desert)

Later that afternoon, my friend and prayer partner Christine came over to make jam.  I had shared my concerns with her.  She arrived with a bowlful of fragrant, homegrown strawberries and a verse the Lord had given her for me:
"Make plain the vision.  Write it on tablets, that he may run who reads it."
(Habakkuk 2:2)
"I think what you need to do is get some index cards and go back through your prayer journal for the last year or so.  See if there is ANYTHING that might corroborate what Henry thinks he is hearing.  Write anything you find on the cards, then you can lay them out on the table...see if there is any kind of pattern...make plain the vision."
It was the wisest counsel I had heard in awhile.  I vowed to pick up some
index cards and revisit my journal soon!
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A Disturbing Digression

2/21/2015

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I do hope you will forgive me for taking a slight detour today! I don't know if you have been following the news, and are aware that the president held a 'summit' on 'extremism'  this week.  He publicly declared that we are not at war with Islam, etc...The battle has been conveniently redefined.
I received an email this morning that DEEPLY disturbed me.  Initially I wasn't sure why this particular email caused such an emotional earthquake, since I wasn't completely surprised by its contents.  It has taken me the day to process.
Here's what I learned.  At the close of the summit yesterday, the Department of Homeland Security released its current report on 'extremism'.  A summary has been given, and there have been brief reports on CNN and Fox News, but DHS has stated the report will NOT be made available to the public.
Why am I so disturbed? Because the report concluded that the GREATEST THREAT to our nation is conservative, 'right-wing' citizens...not ISIS or other foreign terror groups, but simply those who do not share the ideology of the current administration.  "Open season" has begun.  For any student of modern history, this should sound at least vaguely familiar.
This is the OFFICIAL beginning of the end for liberty in America (in reality the demise began long ago).  We now have been put on notice.  Perhaps we may have a clearer understanding of why the army has the audacity to publicly recruit workers for  internment/resettlement camps...
We have been warned.  Lord, grant us wisdom and courage.
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Broken Cisterns...

2/20/2015

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The wild, exotic beauty of Chile captured our imaginations for a time.  This narrow strip of land, hemmed in by the Pacific Ocean on the west and the Andes mountains to the east, stretches almost three thousand miles from north to south.  The landscape includes arid desert, active volcanoes, fertile farmland; farther south, fjords, inlets and islands...and finally Antarctica...a geographical smorgasbord!  
Our hearts would not find rest there, however.  I began to feel as though the uncertainty of it all was unraveling me, thread by thread.  I could hear the Spirit of the Lord gently reminding,
                          'Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart...
                  lean NOT on your own understanding,,,'
On June 19 (2013) I was struck, reading Jeremiah:

"Be appalled at this, O heavens and shudder with great horror," declares the Lord.
"My people have committed two sins:
1)  They have forsaken Me, the Spring of living water,
2)  And have dug their own cisterns that cannot hold water."

I realized that we were in danger of 'leaning on our own understanding'...of 'digging our own cisterns'! 

Journal Entry, Wednesday June 19, 2013:  "Lord...use the uncertainty of these days to remove the broken cisterns in our lives...all that we have falsely put our trust in!  We continue to pray for clarity in hearing your voice!"

On Monday the 17th, the Lord had spoken once again...Henry was reviewing a pertinent passage in Revelation and asked me what I had concluded when teaching through the book two years earlier.  I thumbed through my study notes, looking for my comments on the specific verses he had asked about.  When I found the passage in question, I realized that my notes were dated 'June 17, 2011'...exactly TWO YEARS AGO, TO THE DAY!  If that wasn't enough of a jolt, at the very top of the page I had written in large, capital letters:


"COME OUT OF HER, MY PEOPLE!"
"Lord, it's beginning to feel like You are raising the decibel level!" 
June 20, 2013 (Journal Entry)
"Whether you turn to the right or the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying 'This is the way, walk in it.'" (Isaiah 30:21)

And from Streams In the Desert:

"Are you uncertain about which direction you should go?  Take your questions to God and receive guidance from either the Light of His smile or the cloud of His refusal.  You must get alone with Him...you must have the courage to wait in silent expectation, even when everyone around you is insisting on an immediate decision or action.  If you will do these things, the will of God will become clear to you and you will have a deeper concept
of Who He is...His nature and His heart of love."

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Back to Reality! (or so I thought)

2/19/2015

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The GREAT thing about jet lag, when you travel east to west, is the ease of waking early!  Sometimes a little too early, but early just the same.  It was GOOD to be HOME!

While we had been away, some disturbing news broke out.  A young man, Edward Snowden, risked everything to blow the whistle on the National Security Agency. Many had suspected the government of sticking its nose in unwelcome places...but now there was more proof than anyone really wanted. There's no putting the toothpaste back in the tube.
As usual, it was a JOY to return to the cheerful buzz of the Oasis!  A new customer stood at the counter, challenged with choosing from so many varieties of Blue Moon Tea. She selected at last, and ordered a freshly baked cinnamon roll. As I set the cinnamon roll next to her tea, I noticed that she was looking around.
"I LOVE this place!" she exclaimed. "My friends always told me about the Oasis, but I never came...and now we don't live here anymore," she was wistful.  We're just here visiting family." 
"Well I'm glad you finally made it in!  Where are you living now?" I asked
"Costa Rica," she answered.

"That's a BIG change," I remarked.  "Why Costa Rica???"
"Well," she said, (glancing at the painting of the 'Woman at the Well' which hung on the wall)..."We are Christians.  God impressed on us that we were living in 'Babylon' and has told us to leave...to go and prepare a place."
I froze, my heart racing!  I laid my hand on her shoulder and said, "I think I know EXACTLY  what you mean!  Do you have time to talk?"
I learned her name was Gloria.  She called her husband Jim, who was on his way to pick her up.  I called Henry.  We ordered lunch and the four of us sat outside on the patio for two and a half hours, absolutely entranced! Comparing notes, we were staggered by the similarities of our journey.  These were kindred spirits who, until today, had been complete strangers. 
There was such comfort in knowing that Henry was not the only one sensing the call to leave...A search on Amazon revealed a number of books written by people who had either left, or were in the process of leaving.  We ordered several.  One in particular, 'Reaping the Whirlwind' by A.P. Watchman, was replete with an exhaustive study of related Scripture passages.  The author does not give specific instruction, but presents the information, encouraging the reader to prayerfully seek the Lord's direction.
If we had to leave,
WHERE ON EARTH WOULD WE GO??? 
The turmoil was almost uncontrollable
!

We ordered four books on Chile...
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Kinloch Lodge...A Place in the Wilderness

2/18/2015

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There was only a slight breeze blowing when climbed the steps of the Flybe turbo-prop.  I turned around for one last look at 'Kirkwall International Airport', grateful for this unexpected place of refreshment.  We were off to Inverness, the Isle of Skye, and finally Kinloch Lodge, a regal, lakeside manor house. 

June 15, 2013...Our final day in Scotland was met with gray skies and a steady downpour.  So much for a day of exploring.  The innkeepers had built a fire in the lounge and I made it my personal responsibility to keep it stoked.  This was my first experience with coal in close to fifty years.  In an instant I was in my Grandpa Tibbitts' basement, watching as he stoked the furnace.  Such a powerful thing, the nose.
Perhaps our last day would be best spent in reflection, study and prayer.  As far as I could tell, we were the only guests.  The drawing room was ours for the day...
Picture
June 15, 2013 (Journal Entry)
"Our final day in Scotland...why does it feel like a respite before the coming storm?  As we make preparation to follow Your lead - don't let us forsake the joy given each day.  You have been SO good!

My heart echoes with the words of Jeremiah...
(I don't remember how I ended up in Jeremiah) 

"Oh that I had in the desert a lodging place for travelers..." (Jeremiah 9:2)
"'You live in the midst of deception; in their deceit they refuse to acknowledge me,' declares the Lord."  (Jeremiah 9:6)
"The shepherds are senseless and do not inquire of the Lord; so they do not prosper and all their flock is scattered..." (Jeremiah 10:21)
"'But if any nation does not listen, I will completely uproot and destroy it,' declares the Lord."  (Jeremiah 12:17)
And Ezekiel 12...
"...Son of man, you are living among a rebellious people...therefore, son of man, pack your belongings for exile in the daytime, as they watch.  Set out and go from where you are to another place.  Perhaps they will understand, though they are a rebellious house..."
Some kind of strange momentum seemed to be building, but I was weary of it all.  It would be a relief to fly home the next day, and dive back into my routine at the Oasis.   A little normalcy, renewed perspective was what I needed!   
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Grace and more grace...

2/17/2015

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Picture

"Moses says, 'Wanderers though we be in the howling wilderness, yet we find a home in Thee, even as our forefathers did when they came out of the Ur of the Chaldees'..." 
(From Spurgeon's Exposition
of Psalm 90)

I left Kirkwall Baptist Church in a fog that Sunday afternoon.  We decided to walk down to the harbor for lunch and to spend some time processing.  We were seated in the dining room of the Kirkwall Hotel, and had just placed our order when an older couple sitting next to us struck up a conversation.
"We don't normally do this, but we were wondering if you would like to take a tour of the island, then come back to our home for tea?"

We accepted their gracious invitation and spent a memorable afternoon together.  David and Mary were committed Christians from Surrey who had recently built a summer home in Dounby (on Mainland Orkney).  We shared our journey with them as we drove around the island, and returned to their home for tea, where they prayed over us.  We felt as though angels had been sent to minister!

We decided to go back for the evening service at church.  At the end of the service they offered prayer for anyone in need.  At the moment I COULD NOT IMAGINE BEING MORE IN NEED OF PRAYER, so we stayed.  We met with Alastair and Sarah Banks, briefly explaining our plight, then launched directly into prayer.  While they prayed with us, (remember, these were COMPLETE strangers...we had never seen them before in our lives), the Lord impressed images in their minds.  When we finished praying, Alastair said, "I saw three distinct pictures while we were praying.  The first was a narrow Arizona road.  The second was a vast expanse of ocean...I sense the Lord wants me to tell you that He will be with you, wherever you go.  Third I saw Petra.  I don't know what it means, except that I believe you will know it when you see it."
Then Sarah shared, "I only saw one image.  It was a picture of the woman at the well.  She left her water jars to go and tell people about Jesus."
By this time I could not stop the flow of tears.  Alastair could not have known that our favorite place of refuge for the past seven years was White Stallion Ranch, located down a narrow road just outside of Tucson, Arizona.  We had been there in April!  When Sarah spoke of the woman at the well, the painting on the wall of the Oasis came immediately to mind...the woman at the well...she met the Source of Living Water and her life was forever changed.
The Lord, El Roi, 'the God Who Sees' was speaking loud and clear.  I could not help but think of Psalm 139...
"O Lord, you have searched me and known me!  You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You discern my thoughts from afar.  You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways...You hem me in, behind and before, and lay Your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from Your Spirit?  Or where shall I flee from Your presence?...If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me...even the darkness is not dark to You..."
Before calling it a day, I made another entry in my journal:

June 9, 2013: 
"Gracious Creator, Shepherd, and Comforter - You are far more attentive to our circumstances than we deserve...The past twenty-four hours have served as an unexpected spiritual Oasis.  Only You could have made the arrangements for this..."

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Kicking it up a Notch...continued!

2/14/2015

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"Interesting" would prove to be an understatement. Sometimes I want to throw up (sorry) when people talk about 'Divine appointments'.  Not because I don't believe in them, but because the term is thrown around so much.  Well, the ENTIRE DAY was one long DIVINE APPOINTMENT!
Worship came to a close and three men walked to the front.  The pastor was on sabbatical, so deacons and others took turns filling in the pulpit.  Today the speaker happened to be a man named "Rob Kiff".  Before a word was spoken, deacons stood on either side of him, laid hands on him and prayed.

This man began to teach from the book of Jonah.  As it turns out, his key verse was
Jonah 2:8...
"Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs."

Once again Henry and looked at each other...this time completely astonished!  The Lord had been using that exact verse to help Henry release Sunrise Medical Campus! Pastor Kiff went on to talk about the importance of walking by faith, not by sight.  He told of a mechanism eagles have in their wings, which allows them to lock them during stormy weather.  He said:
"Whatever God is calling you to do, you lock your wings and soar!  And the ONE PLACE YOU DON'T WANT TO BE AT THE END OF YOUR LIFE is on Mt. Nebo, where Moses was allowed to get a glimpse of the Promised Land, but was not allowed to enter because of his disobedience!"
At the conclusion of the service I thought to myself, "I'm never going to see this man again.  I'm going to ask him the million dollar question."  I approached him, introduced myself, and thanked him for his timely message.  Then I summoned all the courage I could muster:
"My husband thinks he hears God calling us to leave the United States. 
ARE WE CRAZY???"
 A somber shadow suddenly dimmed his countenance and he replied with a question:
"Do you know about Armenia???"
"No" I admitted, "I don't."
"Just prior to World War I, thousands of Christians and Jews heard the Lord warning them to leave their country.  Many heeded the warning, in fact quite a few ended up in the United States.  Many did not heed the warning however, and shortly afterward the Turks invaded, slaughtering over a million of them."
There was my answer.  I knew about Noah and the flood...I knew about Lot's rescue just before Sodom and Gomorrah were completely destroyed in God's judgment.  I had NOT been aware of this modern precedent however...that God has continued to speak, warning His people of imminent danger...
I now knew it was entirely possible that Henry
was hearing the Lord correctly. 
The implications of that were unfathomable.
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Kicking it up a notch!

2/14/2015

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June 5-6, 2013 (Continued): 
It was a gorgeous day in Edinburgh.  We wandered around this city, in and out of cathedrals, breathing it all in.  One of the churches hosted a Christian Heritage Center...thinly disguised outreach.  As we spoke with the volunteers, one of them asked where we were going next.  When we answered, "Orkney", he became more animated. 
     "There's a wonderful little church in Kirkwall, Kirkwall Baptist Church.  If you are going to be there on the weekend, you must visit!"  We tucked that away and continued on.  

After walking down the Royal Mile (and I mean 'down'...what goes down must come up), we toured Holyrood Palace, the Queen's official residence in Edinburgh, then stopped halfway up for fish and chips. Back at the hotel, the bed beckoned...jet lag was getting the best of me.  I decided to check my email instead of napping.  There in my inbox, I found a powerful email from my dear friend and prayer partner, Christine:
"I support you with what the Lord is bringing.  I think you are safe to follow Henry's lead...Trust the Lord, just as Joshua trusted when he was told to cross the Jordan.  Think of Henry as God spoke over Abraham in Genesis 18:19 - "I have chosen you to lead and guide and direct your children and your household...to bring about all I have promised for you..." 

Then she shared Deuteronomy 32:47:  "These are not idle words for you, these are your life!"  "It's not about leaving,"  She wrote,  "It's about His coming.  It's about the establishing of His kingdom.  That's our focus.  That's our commission."

Until now, Christine had been quite concerned over this 'new direction' the Lord had given Henry.  Now, after seeking wisdom in prayer, she sensed the Lord at work in our strange circumstances.  I wasn't sure whether to take comfort in this - or panic!
Picture
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On Friday afternoon, June 7 we flew into Orkney.  When we landed, the day was calm, but overcast.  I couldn't help but think of my Grandmother...and all the stories she had shared about her grandfather and this island. I think she had always dreamed of visiting...I even wondered if, from her vantage point in heaven, she could know I was there.  Of course the  answers to these kinds of questions are beyond our reach.  Still, I could not help but feel that something was coming full circle.  I was filled with an awareness of great privilege.  Thanking God for allowing me to be there. 
I am sorry to say that jet lag got the best of me on Saturday...Henry wandered about town while I slept the day away.  Sunday morning, we thought we should check out the church we had heard so much about in Edinburgh.
We walked to the end of Victoria Street and settled into some seats inside the church.  The people were warm and welcoming. Soon the young worship leader stood on the platform and began to speak:

"For some reason this morning, I feel like I am supposed to talk about what it's like to walk by faith, not sight.  It's a little like wintertime, when the ponds begin to freeze and you want to go ice skating.  Now there are some people who will always cling to the edge...never venturing out too far on the ice.  Others will jump right out there.  I just want you to know that, when you are walking in faith, the ice you are stepping out on is INFINITELY thick!"
Upon hearing this, I glanced over at Henry.  We both knew the Lord had met us here!  This would prove to be an interesting morning!
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    Anne Reitzug

    Sojourner.  Servant.  Recipient of undeserved  Grace.  Worshiper.

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