Metamorphosis

Emerging from a Homespun Cocoon. 

It's been a little dark here, inside this protective covering I have created for myself.  I 'should' know better. Faith and confidence evidenced in last week's blog, "Shining Hope," have all but evaporated. I am crawling to this page today.  Still a worm, despite an entire week spent inside my self-styled cocoon.

In all fairness, it has been a rough week.  One week ago this morning, our granddaughter Adelyn Hope arrived by emergency Caesarian Section.  Kate and Richard had been airlifted to Aberdeen the previous afternoon.  As experienced Orcadian Midwives suspected, her Tiny-ness could not withstand the violence of labor.  Adelyn's heartbeat decelerated with each contraction.  By early morning, the doctor uttered the dreaded words, "I am not comfortable allowing labor to continue..." 

I had underestimated the impact of those words.  I know that MILLIONS of women have shared this experience, but this was 'my' baby... laboring with 'my' granddaughter.  It didn't take long to realize that fear was 'mine' as well.  Details of risk disclosed at the reading of the consent form did nothing to assuage my concerns.

Imagined moments of holding Adelyn for the first time were soon replaced by the reality of sitting helplessly with Kate beside an incubator.  Monitors hummed, and the deep sadness in my daughter's eyes devastated me. The eternal 'mommy' in me wanted to do something to make it better.  I know Kate's husband Richard had felt the same helplessness as he followed his wife into surgery and watched as Adelyn was whisked away to the NICU. 

Kate and Baby Adelyn

Thanks be to God, both Kate and baby Adelyn are growing stronger with each passing day.  I could not be more thankful for Richard, who has stayed with Kate, denying himself both food and sleep at times.  What a treasure!  When I had to return to Orkney last Friday, I knew my daughter was safe in his care.

The shock has begun to wear off.  I am ashamed at my lack of faith and the predominance of FEAR...yet greatly comforted by the words of Romans 8:1 - "There is therefore now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."  He KNOWS I am weak.  He carries me.  How then, do I fall into the same pattern of fear and unbelief when I know better?  Today's reading from "Streams in the Desert" was a gentle, stern reminder!

"My grace IS sufficient for you."
"Never turn God's FACTS into hopes or prayers,
but simply use them as realities!"

My faith failed because I had forgotten the FACT of God's faithfulness!  Romans 12:2 warns:  'Do not be conformed to this world...'  I HAD conformed to the world in WORRYING!  Instead, Paul urges, 'Be TRANSFORMED by the RENEWAL of your mind...'

It just so happens that the Greek word translated as 'transformed' is 'METAMORPHAO', from which we get the word metamorphosis.  If I am to emerge from my carefully-constructed cocoon, I must RENEW MY MIND.  I must take my thoughts captive, because the cocoon I created to protect myself merely served to CONSTRICT...even SUFFOCATE. 

My focus must be His FAITHFULNESS!
Open the eyes of my heart, Lord!

As I sat with Kate beside the incubator, I had quietly sung the words of Chris Tomlin's song, "Whom Shall I Fear?" 

"I know Who goes before me
I know Who stands behind
The God of Angel Armies
Is always by my side!"

I see now, the Lord HAD gone before us! 

I call to mind an evening in April.  Henry and I were in South Ronaldsay, having dinner at the Skerries Bistro.  Toward the end of our meal, a gentleman sitting two tables over stood up, walked over and introduced himself.  His name was Jarod, and he simply said he 'felt prompted' to make our acquaintance.  He happened to be the pastor of "Bridge of Don" Baptist Church in Aberdeen, and was visiting Orkney for the weekend.  We enjoyed our chat, invited him to church, and have kept in touch...

Fast forward to last Tuesday, July 28.  I took the first commercial flight available to Aberdeen after Kate and Richard had been airlifted.  My shock was magnified by the fact that I had never been in Aberdeen. I was feeling helpless and completely disoriented.  I hailed a taxi and asked him to take me to the Maternity Ward at Royal Aberdeen Infirmary.  All was a blur, until something caught my attention at a stoplight.  
On the left was a sign reading: 

Bridge of Don

Could it be?  I wondered.  I called Henry and asked him to send Pastor Jerod an email.  He responded almost immediately, sharing that he lives only four miles from the Royal Infirmary! 

In April, when we met Jarod, Richard and Kate had no idea they would be moving to Orkney, but the Lord knew.  He knew their tiny baby would need special care.  He is 'El Roi'...the God who sees!  In His sovereign goodness, He arranged for us to dine at the Skerries Bistro, and prompted pastor Jarod Meenan to introduce himself!  Jarod has come to the rescue, praying with our little family in Aberdeen, visiting, delivering packages for us.  We are ever grateful to him, and to the God of Angel Armies!

Nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in Your hand
I'm holding on to Your promises
You are faithful
You are faithful
You are faithful!