Worry for our family and friends began to CONSUME ME. The enemy capitalized on my fears, fanning them into flame. Meanwhile, attempts to communicate the urgency of what we see on the horizon have been met with disdain, disbelief, and a settled sense of false security. I was having trouble sleeping, and the sleep I did manage was riddled with nightmares...For the first time in years, I was struggling to keep my eyes on the Lord, so great was the turmoil in my mind and heart! I was living Jeremiah's lament: 'My heart is broken within me; all my bones shake...'.
In the early morning hours of May 10th, the Lord mercifully awakened me. He simply spoke to my heart: "Psalm 105." I got up and opened my Bible...
make known His deeds among the peoples!
Sing to Him, sing praises to Him;
Tell of all His wondrous works!
Glory in His holy name;
Let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice!
Seek the Lord and His strength;
Seek His presence CONTINUALLY!"
I would love to say that obedience to this challenge was easy! I DID NOT FEEL like giving thanks! I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, then crawl in a hole and go to sleep. In my utter weakness I cried out to the Lord. He faithfully met me, giving me the strength to trust Him in praise. I took a walk, rejecting the paralysis of fear, forcing myself to give thanks. As I walked, a new song began to form in my heart:
And when the evening comes
Your faithfulness rises in the darkest night,
Your glory before the dawn..."
Stay awake! Heed His call! Follow Him! "And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." (Phil. 1:6)